The "a" solution

I escaped from my folks to find a better life with what I thought would be less stress then anything associating with the old man and his wife. Unfortunately it isn't quite as happy go lucky as I would have hoped. Granted day to day activities are much easier and the overall stress level has decreased a bit more, it sees more shit keeps happening as time progresses causing rather, frustrating effects.

In the last month I have been stood up three times, all of them different young ladies. Not to mention the times when the guys failed to pull thru on their promises. It is only a slight bit frustrating when you encounter a solution to your problems and plan to enjoy the evening and then, get stood up leaving you with just yourself wondering "where the fuck did I go wrong THIS time?" running through your head. Am I seriously that undesirable that the female population refuses to be seen in public with me? Ah well I supose it doesn't matter much anyway.

I mean when such evenings as this I can always return to the apartment and chill with the sister for a bit. Crack open a few cold ones and let it all slip away and just forget it ever happened. That is until she moves to washington anyway. Within 2 months she will be moving off, already has a job out there at target, just a transfer. That leaves both of my family members that I could go to and have a good time with in seperate parts of the country. Its only so very tempting to follow suite and head out myself.

At the moment it seems like I could leave this all behind. I am not attached to anything in this state anymore, everyone I was either moved away or is attending school elsewhere and will be moving away. Either that or, well they arn't around anymore. If only I could be granted a steady job else where, I would pounce on the opportunity in a heartbeat. Just the thought of starting over completely is so...appealing.

Until then I stick with the alcohol solution. Pop open a 6 pack and a carton of paul mauls and the evening goes by so much smoother. Granted it is only a distraction from the reality I am stuck in, but at least a dream is better then living a nightmare. If only I could sleep perhaps that would be my escape from reality, but sleep doesnt' come real easy these days, not that it ever really has.

This isn't one of those "O I want attention" kind of gigs. I honestly want escape from this life I'm living. I'm not talking all suicidal crazy freak type of shit, but rather the chance to leave this area and everything behind. Everyone I met at school the last year means almost nothing to me now. I have worked so hard at eliminating any emotional bonding with them that I could just walk away and feel hardly any regret if not none at all.

Well set backs are set backs no matter how you look at them. One day I will get outta here, after all there really is no reason for me to stay anywhere near green bay